Establishing a bedtime routine will make bedtime easier for both you and your young child. By having a routine, your child is far more likely to be sleepy when his head hits the pillow. The routine alerts his subconscious mind that it is time to unwind. The right bedtime routine can help him to calm down and send him off to dreamland with happy thoughts. So what constitutes a bedtime routine? And how long will it take before it is automatic?

Five Steps until Bedtime

A good number of steps for any preschool activity is five, because the child has five fingers. You can teach your child the steps, and have him count down on his hand. When he gets to zero, it’s time to climb beneath the covers. This simple activity can help the child understand the one-to-one correspondence necessary before simple addition and subtraction can be learned. It also helps prepare him for the impending deadline.

Step One: Pick up Toys

This is a good step to begin any bedtime routine. It teaches the child to take care of his possessions. By picking up his toys at night, he is making his environment clean and safe. His toys will be where he can find them later for another great day of play. It also says, “time for play is over.” However, the preschool child is not mature enough to complete this task on his own. Depending on the level of mess he has created, he will need your help to complete the task.

If you scold your child repeatedly to hurry up and finish cleaning, what kind of dreams do you think he will have? Do you imagine that he will slip sweetly into sleep as soon as you kiss him good-night? This is not the time for impatience. The words you give your child now will stay with him all night long. You want the last thoughts on his conscious mind to be of love and acceptance. Take a deep breath and let it out slowly. Roll the tension from your shoulders. Just think – in thirty minutes, your child will be asleep, and you will be free to do the things you want to do. So, get down on the floor and help your child pick up his toys!

You can make it a game. “I’ll pick up the red toys and you can pick up the blue ones. Who will get done first?” If picking up takes too long, start earlier tomorrow night, or have several pick-up times throughout the day. Put some of your child’s toys away in a closet out of reach and rotate them. He doesn’t have to have every toy he owns at his disposal. Most children own too many toys anyway. Help him manage his mess by limiting the things he can get into.

Step Two: Bath Time

Many families like to have a bath before bedtime as part of their routine. This is especially important in the summer time when children play outside more, with more skin exposed. They just don’t get quite as dirty when they are bundled in snowsuits and the ground is frozen. But the bath is more than just an opportunity to get clean. Water play is educational, as well.

Filling containers with water helps the child develop eye-hand coordination. He learns basic mathematical concepts, like “empty, full, light, heavy,” and “how many”. How many cups will it take to fill the larger container? How many capsful will it take to fill the empty shampoo bottle?

Playing in water can also be very soothing. It’s a great way to begin unwinding after a busy day. Set a timer, though. Otherwise, your child will quickly learn that the longer he can draw out bathtime, the longer he can postpone the inevitable. Fifteen minutes is generally long enough to eliminate the dirt and a few extra wiggles. If possible, put Daddy in charge of bathtime, and it will be extra fun. Daddy and child can share this calm, bonding experience, while you have fifteen minutes to yourself.

Step Three: Pajamas

The water has drained out of the tub, and the tub toys have been stacked into a special bin or net where the water can drain (so they don’t grow moldy). Your child is wrapped in a big, fluffy bathsheet, and the last drops of water have been kissed away. Now it’s time to help him put on his pajamas. Even if he can dress himself, you can help him with this step. Supervise, at least, so he doesn’t create the exciting new game of streaking through the house stark naked. Then, it’s time to brush teeth. This activity should be supervised, as well. Preschoolers are too young to do a thorough job. You can set a timer yet again for three minutes, and encourage your child to brush until the timer dings.

Step Four: Story Time

All bedtime routines should end with a story! Reading aloud to your child is the single most important thing you can do to create a good student in school. It is far better to read to him, than to teach him the alphabet. It is more important to read to him, than tell him a hundred times a day that you love him. When you read, you hold your child close. He can hear your heart beating. He can feel your comforting arms around him. Sleepy now, his eyes may droop to the comforting sound of your voice. He will learn to love books, and when he goes to school, he is far more likely to be motivated to learn. Always read to your child. Two books a day minimum! If you must punish your child by removing a privilege, remove anything else, but don’t skip out on this. You’re in luck that public libraries offer so many books for free! And preschoolers do love to hear the same stories over and over, so the books you buy will get well used.

Step Five: Hugs and Kisses

The last thing you say to your child will stick with him all through the night. It is imperative that you make these moments count. Even if he’s been pushing your buttons all day long, make the effort to be patient and loving. He will fall asleep faster, and perhaps have happier dreams. Tuck him in bed. Give him butterfly kisses (batting your eyelashes against his face) or “Eskimo” kisses (rubbing noses together). Some families use the last moments before sleep to teach their child to pray. Even in non-religious families, you can develop a bedtime habit of recounting the day’s adventures and thinking about friends and loved ones.

Some children require more effort to unwind. If your’s is a highly active child, or has had an exceptionally busy day, you may want to rub his back for five minutes. This soothing touch has helped day care providers get thousands of wiggly little bodies to fall asleep swiftly at day care centers around the world. It takes only a few minutes, and is far more effective than scolding the child for an hour to settle down and go to sleep.

That’s it. At each step, have your child say the step, do the step, and count down on his fingers. After the fifth step is completed, leave the room. You might turn on a nightlight, or leave the door open an inch or two. Do not get in the habit of turning on a television. Studies have shown that people who sleep with a tv on do not get sound sleep, and take longer to fall asleep than those who sleep without it. The same can be said for music. You could put on a music CD of lullabies or classical music, but do not put it on replay. Just play it once through, then allow silence to fill the room. The exception could be if you live in an area with a lot of noise, like a big apartment complex with narrow walls, or next to a train station, then you might resort to a white noise machine that helps to block the noise.

Eliminate Interruptions

Make it a rule that there will be no more sips of water, no more stories, no more talking, no more anything after the five bedtime steps have been completed. His last chance for water was when he brushed his teeth. He has no more need for water. The body does not need water through the night. On the contrary, it needs to fast. The digestive system needs to finish working on digestion, and then it goes into repair mode. People who eat late night snacks prevent their own bodies from repairing damaged cells, and can create poor health.

Twenty-One Days to a New You

Studies have shown that it takes twenty-one days to make a new routine a habit. Try it yourself! You know you should floss every night, but few people do. Make it a requirement for twenty-one days. If you remember after you went to bed, get up and do it anyway. After three weeks, it will become habit, and you won’t even have to think about it. So, create your own five-step bedtime routine, or use the one mentioned here. Commit yourself to following it for twenty-one days, and you may be pleasantly surprised at how much easier bedtime becomes for you and your preschool child.

Related Articles:
What NOT to Do at Bedtime
Training Your Child to Sleep through the Night
Great Books for Toddlers and Preschoolers

Photo Credits:
Top: photo by Lexie49
Middle: photo by Sally McCabe
Bottom: photo by Sean Dreilinger

How much sleep do you get? How much does your child get? Is it enough? Do you know how much sleep is enough sleep? Why is sleep so important? Once you realize how important this basic need is, you will want to ensure that everyone in your family is getting enough.

Lack of Sleep Linked to Obesity

There are studies that show new moms are able to get into their skinny jeans faster if they get plenty of sleep. There are studies that show a high correlation between infants who sleep only twelve hours a day as opposed to the required 14 or more, are twice as likely to be obese by age three. Not overweight – but obese! Obesity is a major health concern, as being obese increases your risk of heart attack, stroke, diabetes, gallstones, respiratory problems and certain cancers.

Lack of Sleep Linked to Depression

There is a strong correlation between lack of sleep and depression, although it is not known if insomnia causes depression or is a result of it. Normal sleep is restorative. Lack of sleep causes fatigue, leading to increased tension and irritability. When you are fatigued, you exercise less, which creates a vicious cycle of inactivity and sleep disturbance with resulting poor health.

Lack of Sleep Linked to Heart Disease

People who get less than seven hours of sleep every night have higher levels of plaque in their blood. Too little sleep raises cortisol levels, which fuels inflammation and destabilizes plaque. When plaque ruptures, it can block a blood vessel. If it blocks a blood vessel in the brain, it causes a stroke. If it blocks a blood vessel in the heart, it causes a heart attack. Although sleep deprivation is not the only cause of heart disease, it is important enough that getting adequate sleep should be part of every heart patient’s total health care program.

Lack of Sleep Causes ADHD

A recent study found that children who got less sleep than their peers were twice as likely to have behavior problems in school, including aggression, inability to concentrate or focus – all behaviors of Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD). The study also confirmed that while adults tend to act sluggish and groggy when they are overtired, children do the opposite. They speed up. The overactive youngster bouncing off the walls is not one that needs more physical exercise, but one that needs more sleep. This is a growing concern, as American children are getting on average one hour of sleep less per night than thirty years ago.

Lack of Sleep Causes Death

There, that’s pretty blunt! Lack of sleep causes so many health issues, that if you continue to deny yourself the restorative benefits of sleep, you shorten your life significantly. The study used 1.3 million people from all around the world, and found an unequivocal relationship between lack of sleep and premature death.

How Much Sleep We Need

Adults need between 7 – 9 hours of sleep every night. Only one on four Americans gets enough sleep on a week night, while about fifty percent get enough sleep on weekends. Still, for you to achieve the full restorative effect of sleep, you need to get enough of it every night. A new bed won’t make you sleep better. Some people sleep just fine on the floor. It is all about habits. Establish a good sleep habit, and stick to it.

Infants need 14 or more hours of sleep per day. Toddlers and preschoolers need 12-14 hours of sleep. School age children need about 10-11 hours of sleep, with teens still needing at least nine hours of sleep per night. Count backwards from what time your child needs to get up in the morning, to find the right bedtime – but remember to add a half an hour for falling asleep. So, if your preschooler needs to be up by six, so you can get him dressed, fed, and ready to go wherever, and he gets 11 hours of sleep at night (and a two hour nap), count back eleven and a half hours, which makes six-thirty his bedtime. By going to bed at six-thirty, he should be able to be asleep by seven, giving him his necessary eleven hours.

Do the same for yourself. If you need to get up by five o’clock in order to get everyone up, dressed, fed, and off to wherever they have to be, and you need eight hours of sleep, count backwards eight and a half hours, giving you a bedtime of eight-thirty. Sound absurd? How many grown-ups do you know who go to bed before midnight? Maybe you’re already thinking, “How can I get all my work done, if I spend that much time asleep?”

But instead, maybe you should be thinking, “How much more productive will I be, if I am healthier? If I can concentrate better while I’m at work?” Imagine if you never had to take a sick-day off work because either you or your child was under the weather?

There are five basic steps for optimal health. Getting enough sleep is just the first step. I will cover each one individually over the next few days. This post is for your information. If you want to teach your child about health, check out the activities for Health Week.

Photo Credits:
Top: photo by Linda Aslund
Middle: photo by Brian Fitzgerald
Bottom: photo by Toshimasa Ishibashi

Sources:

• Neihmond, Patti. “Lack of Sleep Linked to Later Weight Gain in Babies”. Archives of Pediatric and Adolescent Medicine. April 11, 2008.
• Stein, Rob. “Scientists Finding Out What Lack of Sleep Does to a Body”. Washington Post. October 9, 2005.
• Park, Alice. “Lack of Sleep Linked to Heart Problems”. Time Magazine. December 23, 2008.

Nap time is critical to your child’s health and well being. Children who do not take a nap tend to be smaller, hyperactive, and prone to frequent illness. Lack of sleep can cause aggressiveness, irritability, crying, whining, defiant or impulsive behavior, and a short attention span. A lack of sleep affects your child’s brain development, as well as his physical growth.

How Much Sleep Children Require

Young children need between 13 and 14 hours of sleep daily. Generally, this works into about 11 hours at night and a 2 hour nap. I have heard many parents claim that if their child takes a nap, then he will not sleep at bedtime. Other parents say their child simply will not sleep at naptime, and they give up trying. Ask to visit a large day care center shortly after lunch and see that nearly every child is sound asleep. What is the difference?

The secret ingredient is… (drumroll, please) ROUTINE!

Day care teachers could never get all those children to sleep if it weren’t for routine. The better the day care, the more they stick to their routine. A daily routine helps a child to be hungry when it’s time to eat, and to be tired when it’s time to sleep. Sticking to a routine requires that a parent be disciplined. Disciplined parents have disciplined children, and the opposite is also true. Children will learn whatever behavior we model for them.

Your daily routine should begin at the same time every day. Whether you get up at 6:00 am or 9:00 am doesn’t matter as long as you do it every single day. You cannot change your schedule on the weekend. If you let your young child stay up late on Friday and Saturday night, you are guaranteeing that Monday morning is going to be horrendous. There is a lot of research that claims sleep in the earlier hours of the evening is more beneficial than sleeping late in the morning. The old adage, ” early to bed, early to rise, makes a man healthy, wealthy and wise” may yet prove true.

Put Your Daily Routine Down on Paper

So get a pen and paper and start to work on your routine. Write what time you would like your child to be asleep by every night. 11 hours later will be your approximate time to begin your daily routine. If you would like your child to be asleep by 8:00 PM every night, then his daily wake up time is 7:00 AM. It might be even better to plan his go to sleep time at 7:00 PM, but that depends on a number of other factors, such as older children in the home. It is important to note that if you want your child to be asleep by 8:00 PM, then his bedtime is actually 7:30 PM.

Bedtime Routine

If you haven’t already created a bedtime routine, do it now. This is a series of events (usually five) that always take place every single evening right before bedtime. It generally takes about a half hour, and may include: bathtime, pajama time, story time, prayer time, and cuddles. For more on establishing a bedtime routine, read: Hassle-Free Bedtime.

Why am I stressing bedtime in an article about naps? Because the two go hand-in-hand. A child who is over-tired, over-stimulated, and resisting naps, is a child who needs more sleep at bedtime. To establish a good nap, you must also establish a consistent bedtime.

Children Need Fresh Air and Outdoor Exercise Daily

Okay, you have your ideal schedule, your bedtime routine, and when you would like your child to take a nap. Your child is eating regular, nutritious meals at about the same time every day. Now, you need to see that his morning includes a variety of activities, including some large-muscle activities outside. This does not mean that you have to amuse him! The young child has a fantastic imagination and a wealth of creative potential. You simply have to provide the tools and the time, and a safe environment. To see what sort of activities I do in the mornings with my granddaughter, you can read: Working with the Lesson Plans: Schedules

Your child went to sleep last night around 8:00 pm, and awoke full of energy this morning just before 7:00 am. He did some puzzles, ate breakfast, and colored a picture in his journal. He played with his toys for ninety minutes while you got some work done. Then you took him outside to ride his trike while you jogged along beside him. He came in, washed up, and ate a healthy lunch. It is time for the culmination of all your hard work- The Nap!

Establish a Naptime Routine

Again, this is easier with a routine. It doesn’t need to be as long as the bedtime routine. My granddaughter goes potty, washes hands, and brushes her teeth. Then she takes off her shoes (if they are still on!) and selects TWO books from the pile we previously checked out of the library. She grabs a toy and a blanket, usually her baby doll named Sarah, and a small, flannel baby receiving blanket. Then she scrambles up onto my bed. Sometimes I take her back to her house to sleep in her crib at naptime, but during the day I feel it is okay for her to sleep in a “big bed”. For one, I’m not sleeping. I am awake and alert, and she is not going to get up and get into trouble while my back is turned.

I crawl into bed beside her and read both books. One story isn’t long enough for her to unwind, and any more than two just takes too long. I read two picture books. Then I let her look at them on her own for ten minutes. I want her to love books! I want her to feel that books are like best friends. I lay down beside her and I read for ten minutes, too, modeling the behavior I want her to learn. Of course, I usually read a paperback romance, and I’d rather she read the encyclopedia when she’s older… but that’s another story!

I give her a few count-down warnings. “You may look at books for six more minutes…. You may look at your books for two more minutes…” etc. (See Eliminating Tantrums, the count-down method. )Then, I take away her books.

Sometimes she whimpers. More so if it’s Monday morning, and her schedule was hectic on the weekend with her mom. She is tired, relaxed, and fed. She’s had plenty of exercise both physically and mentally. She will fall asleep.

At first, while you are teaching your child to sleep at nap time, you may need to rub his back or gently stroke his forehead with a loving, gentle touch. Maybe the first day you have to rub his back for thirty minutes. The second day maybe only twenty-nine minutes. Within a few weeks, his body will have adjusted. Research claims that it takes 21 days to create a new habit.

Naptime Can Be the Best Part of the Day

Love nap time! Your child can be most precious at this time of day. As you cuddle with him or her in those last moments before they drift off to sleep, you may hear the most amazing things come from their lips! One afternoon, my granddaughter patted my cheek with her plump little baby-girl fingers, and whispered, “You’re my best friend, gramma!”

Finally – don’t let nap time go on too long. There needs to be a time to get up! If you let your child sleep beyond the time you established in your schedule, you will make it harder for him to get to sleep at bedtime. Keep track of how much he sleeps. If he slept eleven hours last night, then he only needs between an hour and a half to two hours for nap. He may wake up sweetly with hugs and sunshine, or he may wake up crabby for a while. You need to let him establish this new routine, and then you can teach him “how to wake up.”

Mommies Can Enjoy Naptime, Too

So what will you do with your nap time? Whatever you want! Plan for it, treasure it. Use this time as “you” time. Taking care of young children can be exhausting. Find what you need to do to “recharge” your batteries. If you have several children under the age of five, you may need to take a nap yourself. Maybe you’d really love to have a long, luxurious bubble bath and read a novel-without being interrupted by your young child! Just don’t fall into the routine of doing housework at this time. For one, your little one isn’t going to sleep through the sound of the refrigerator opening or the vacuum cleaner gobbling up legos. For another, housework really isn’t going to rejuvenate you and refresh you, so that you will be at your best when your little one wakes up.

There are a few other tricks you can use to make nap time run more smoothly – these, I feel are “extras” and not part of the basic package. Some parents like to get a special “nap time” blanket or bedroll or cot. Some parents dim the lights, play soft music, and rock their child. Some like to use a large timer, and set it where the child can see it, but not touch it – when the timer goes off, then the child may get up. I would urge you NOT to put your child down watching the television. That will keep your child awake. Maybe he will eventually fall asleep, but it will take much longer than necessary, and turn his mind to mush in the process .

For further reading:
The No-cry Nap Solution by Elizabeth Pantley
The Sleepeasy Solution: The Exhausted Parents Guide to Getting Your Child To Sleep by Jennifer Waldburger and Jill Spivak
Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child by Marc Weissbluth

Related Articles:
Common Bedtime Mistakes Parents Make
Play Areas for Encourage Creativity

Photo Credits:
Top:sdminor01
Middle: Courage Knight
Bottom: Courage Knight

The decision to use or not use a pacifier is up to you. There is a list of pros and cons, but generally the American Academy of Pediatrics gives temporary pacifier use the green light. Among the pros, new research indicates that pacifier use reduces the risk of SIDS. However, prolonged pacifier use may contribute to dental problems.

Some parents are able to dispense with the pacifier when their baby is about six months old, but others find that their child really needs it to calm themselves, to be able to sleep, or get back to sleep after waking in the night. Some time between the ages of two and four, most children will give it up. The question,then, is how to help them through this painful process?

How to get rid of the pacifier?

Here is one method that has worked for many families:

1. First, gather all the pacifiers you can find into one location. If your child is very dependent on them, you may find over a dozen in the car, your purse, the diaper bag, the crib, the toy box, and the silverware drawer. Make sure they are all clean. Because they are often wet and stored in dark places, they can be breeding grounds for bacteria. Now place the pile of pacifiers in a clear container in a prominent location. Perhaps a big, clear plastic jar on the kitchen counter.
2. Next, talk to your child about this. Tell him that he is growing, and soon he will not need a pacifier any more. Maybe you only spend a day on this step, or you might need to spend a week on it. Get some library books out on the topic of “growing up”. Help your child see that this is normal, that every body grows up. That it is okay to feel like a big boy sometimes, and still want to be held and rocked and kissed. Growing up does not have to be like going up a crowded escalator. Your child can take the stairs all by himself. Sometimes he’ll go up two steps, but then come back down one. Maybe he’ll run up three steps, but trip on the third one and want to sit there for a spell.
3. When your child is okay with the concept of “growing”, then you explain that every day he may have one pacifier, but it must stay in his crib. He can climb in his crib if he feels he really needs it. He may use it at nap time, and at bed time. But he may not take it out of his crib. And in the morning when he wakes up, HE will throw it in the trash. You will watch him do this, and make sure he doesn’t dig it back out! (Yuck!).
4. Gradually, the pile of pacifiers will diminish. As it gets smaller, praise your child often. Hold him a lot. Rock him. Comfort him. Sing to him. Don’t make him feel that he is losing your love and affection. All he is losing is something to suck. It may help, subconsciously at least, if you serve foods that require sucking. Don’t get him addicted to lolly pops! The pacifier is undoubtedly the lesser of those two evils! But you could make some frozen fruit-juice popsicles or put a straw in his glass of milk or juice.
5. Finally, the last day will come. He will throw away the last pacifier. Make it a party. Serve cake and ice cream and his favorite food for supper (assuming he has one). Take lots of pictures. Play a special game, and let him stay up just a little bit later than normal. Keep him busy all day. This would be a great day to spend at the park! You want to make sure that he is very tired at bed time, not over-tired and cranky.

Go through your regular bedtime routine, whatever that is. Often that means taking a bath, putting on clean pajamas and cuddling in the rocking chair to hear a story or two. Then put him to bed.

He might fuss a little. He might fuss a lot. Do not pick him back up. Do not bring him into your bed. You may go in his room, lay him down again if he is standing. Cover him and rub or pat his back. You may put on some soothing music. Reassure him that you love him.

Some children will cry for a day or two, but rarely longer. Then get the pacifier-be-gone photos developed and add them to your child’s scrapbook or album. You’ve done it!

If your child continues to have problems sleeping, you may want to get additional information. Here are two books on getting children to sleep. I haven’t yet read either of them, but I read all of the parent reviews posted, and they gave the books a five-star rating. Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child and The No-Cry Sleep Solution

Related Articles:
In Praise of Pacifiers
Why Two-Year-Olds Have Tantrums
Hassle-Free Bedtime

Photo Credits:
Upper:http://www.flickr.com/photos/chimothy27/ / CC BY 2.0
Lower:http://www.flickr.com/photos/aidanmorgan/ / CC BY 2.0

This week you and your child will learn about Health. Your child can learn:

• All living beings need air, food, water and shelter to survive
• Living plants need air, food (nutrients), water, and light to survive
• Living beings need a period of rest
• When we sleep, our bodies heal
• If we don’t get enough sleep, we get sick
• If we eat good foods, our bodies will grow strong
• If we drink plenty of water, our bodies work better
• We need to get plenty of physical exercise every day
• A doctor can help us get better when we are sick, and to stay healthy

The lesson plans are going to start adding an extra component – letter, number, shape, and color recognition. So this week, your child will also learn about the letter W, the number 2, the color green, and the circle shape. For younger children, it may be a beginning level activity, for others it will be easy review. The links to free worksheets you can print off are located at the bottom of this article. No matter where your child fits in the scheme of things, consider this: If you teach him to read, he may do well in school. If you teach him about good health, you may improve the quality of his life forever.

The Rules for Good Health

On Monday, your child may go on a camp out in the backyard, as he learns the importance of sleep for good health. If you can, set up a tent and let him take his nap in it. Children learn as much or more from our actions as from our words. If you want your child to understand the importance of sleep, then you shouldn’t be staying up late, either. Set yourself a reasonable bedtime that allows you eight hours of uninterrupted sleep every night. If you aren’t waking up refreshed and rested every morning before your alarm goes off, then you may be suffering from chronic fatigue.

Tuesday focuses on healthy foods. You and your child will make some nutritious meals and snacks. You can help him develop good thinking skills as he sorts pictures of foods into “healthy” or “junk” columns on a poster.

Wednesday is all about exercise. You can visit a fitness trail, or make one in your backyard. You’ll play ball, and learn a little Yoga.

Thursday, we learn about the importance of water. Your child will water-color, and pour water in the sandbox. He can help you water the plants, or plant his own seedling to water.

Friday, the week wraps up with a lesson on cleanliness. It is okay to get dirty – but then we must get clean again. Your child will learn the right way to wash his hands. He will learn to sing the ABC song through twice while washing, so he washes long enough. He will learn that warm water and plain soap work best for washing hands.

Five Star Books for Health Week

• Dr. Seuss’s Sleep Book by Dr. Seuss
• My Amazing Body: A First Look at Health by Pat Thomas
• Little Yoga: A Toddler’s First Book of Yoga by Rebecca Whitford
• All About Scabs (My Body Science Series) by Amanda Mayer Stinchecum
• Pooh Plays Doctor by Kathleen Weidner Zoehfeld
• Oh the Things You Can Do That Are Good for You by Tish Rabe
• The No-Cry Sleep Solutions for Toddlers and Preschoolers by Elizabeth Pantley

Quality Products for Health Week (optional)

• Yoga Kids, Vol. 2: ABC’s for Ages 3-6 DVD
• Baby Songs – ABC, 123, Colors and Shapes
• Bazoongi 48″ Bouncer
• Ball, Bounce and Sport Mickey Hopper
• Platinum All-Time Sesame Street Favorite Songs CD
• Alex Toys 18 Piece Picnic Basket set
• Educo Gourmet Chef Cookware
• Playmobile’s Dentist’s Office
• Preschool Games

Preschool Lesson Plan: Health Week

Free Worksheets for your Preschooler
W is for Watermelon coloring page
W is for Water printing practice
What Begins with W? matching practice
What Begins with W? coloring worksheet
The Letter W worksheet

Related Articles:
Teach Your Child How To Wash Hands
Mastering the Nap
Vitamin D Deficiencies in Children

Photo Credits:
Top: photo by Linda Aslund
Bottom: photo by Just Taken Pics

Last Sunday my husband and I sat near the front of the church right behind a couple with their two boys. The children appeared to be around 8 and 10 years old, although you could hardly tell by their behavior. The pair of them acted more like two year olds! In fact, it does a disservice to two-year-olds everywhere to even make that comparison.

The younger boy lay down on the pew and kicked his brother whenever his parents were standing. He reached around his mom and pinched the older one, sniggered, laughed, coughed, and picked his nose.

The older brother slid up and down the length of the pew, banging against my husband’s hands as we were kneeling. He punched his brother back. He slammed the hymnal and dropped it repeatedly, but when it was time to sing, he was not holding one.

None of them participated in the songs – not even the parents. The boys were loud, disruptive, inattentive, and disrespectful to each other, their parents, and the parish as a whole. And all I could think was, when those boys are young teenagers, they’ll be the ones to say, “I’m not going to church any more because I don’t get anything out of it. It’s just a waste of time”. Actually, I had two thoughts. The other one was, “I bet they behave like that in school, too.”

If you do not already take your children to church, then this article is not for you. I do not mean to proselytize, only to assist those who do practice a formal religion and wish to bring their young children with them. This type of behavior is just unacceptable. Anywhere, any time. I’m sure that your children are not as bad as the two boys I described, because you are reading this! That shows that you already take an active part in your role of parenting. Congratulations! Maybe you won’t win the Parent-of-the-Year award on earth, but you are laying up your treasures in Heaven.

Getting young children to behave well in church is challenging. It’s the ultimate test. Children can get away with more at home, and even in the grocery store. They may squeal inside a few times, as you patiently remind them to use an inside voice. They may pitch a fit in the grocery store, at which you have the choice to either take them straight home and finish your shopping later – alone, or ignore them and all the glares of the other shoppers. But in church it is not acceptable to let them squeal or scream or kick their feet. They need to be quiet and obedient for a full hour – sometimes more, depending on the church where you worship. Ultimately, your goal is to raise a good heart, a cheerful spirit, and a young adult with deep faith, but if that child is too unruly to even come to church, then it may prove difficult to achieve your goal. So here, then, are a few steps to help your child behave better in public.

• Dress for success: We all tend to behave according to how we are dressed.  If we are wearing comfortable play clothes, we are more likely to feel comfortable.  When we are dressed up in our best, we tend to be more aware of our behavior.  Teach children to respect Sunday and Church and the tenets of your faith by dressing them respectfully.  Pretty Sunday dresses, special socks and shoes, even a small patent leather purse and gloves for little girls.  Dress slacks, dark socks, dress shoes – not athletic shoes with blinking lights – clean dress shirts with or without a tie, a sweater vest in cooler weather, for boys.  Young children enjoy dressing up!  Let them!  Also – dress clothes are much easier to find in thrift stores than play clothes, if money is an issue.
• Advance preparation: Good behavior on Sunday morning begins Saturday night.  Do not let little children “stay up late”.  They need those precious hours of sleep.  Make sure they have a bath before bed, even if this is not part of your normal bedtime routine.  Tell them as you help them wash their hair that it is so they can be very clean for church.  Let them know they are getting ready for something special.  Help them lay out the special clothes they will wear in the morning.  Get them a soft, damp rag and let them “polish” their shoes, wiping off any dirt or scuff marks.
• Pack a church bag: They need to be quiet, but most little children will not be still.  It just isn’t in their nature, and God doesn’t really mind the wiggles.   A church bag should have quiet toys or activities (not all parents approve of toys in church.  That’s okay, if you feel that way, just skip this step and read on)  like coloring books and a few crayons.  You don’t need a box of 64 that will get dropped and spilled weekly.  Just a couple – three, maybe.  If the coloring book is on a religious theme, that’s even better.  For Catholics, you can pack large, wooden rosary beads.  Add a picture Bible storybook or prayer book.  Maybe a small Noah’s ark toy, or just a few animals from the set.  Only let them have the church bag while they are in church!  These toys are special, not to take to grandma’s, or the grocery store, or the doctor’s office.
• Snacks? Church is just not that long.  Some parents do not like to bring food, because of the mess it makes, and if the child had breakfast before, then he can certainly go for an hour without eating.  If your child is very noisy though, snacks are a way of getting him to be quiet.  Raisins are quieter and less messy than Cheerios.  Forget the chocolate – they’re in church clothes.
• Correct use of the Cry Room: Always start the service in church.  Let your child see this as an opportunity.  When he gets disruptive, take him, and only him – not the entire family – into the cry room.  Do not allow him to run around in the cry room.  The cry room is JUST LIKE CHURCH.  You still expect him to sit still and be quiet, but here he won’t disrupt others.  Only when he is ready to be quiet can he return to church and sit with the rest of the family.
• Be a role-model: if you want him to be quiet, so should you be.  Do not whisper unduly to your spouse or the people next to you.  Kneel when others kneel, stand when they stand, and sing when it is time to sing!  Don’t keep your voice to yourself, even if you think you sound like a frog.  If you aren’t happy with the voice God gave you, then here is the place to give it back to Him.  Be active in church.  Let your child see how happy you are to be here.  If there is something you don’t understand about your faith, learn it, so you can share it.
• Baby steps.  Try a behavior chart, like the one below.  Pick one inappropriate behavior to concentrate on first, and list the priviledges your child will lose for misbehavior.  Do reward positive results.  Ignore what you can.  Also, try sitting in the same pew every Sunday, at least for a while.  If other church members are irritated by your youngster, they will know where not to sit.  Most people realize that young children will wiggle and occasionally be disruptive.

Sunday behavior chart

Name:_____________________

Date:_____________________

Warning	Warning	Warning	_______
_______	_______	_______	_______

*Rule of the week: ________________________________________________________________

Good job last Sunday on: ________________________________________________________________

This chart is taken from Dr. Koenig’s book, “Smart Discipline” which you can order from here.

Some possible behaviors to work on:

• Sits quietly for _______ minutes
  (begin with ten, then fifteen, etc.)
• folds hands to pray
• sings along
• shakes hands with neighbors
• whispers to mommy to go potty
• picks up toys
• add your own

One final word: You should always feel welcome in your church, regardless of how your children behave! Jesus welcomed the little children, and admonished the adults for wanting to push them away. There may be one or two grumpy members who scowl at you when your kids are acting like kids, but if you feel that you truly are not welcome, then it’s time to find a new place to worship. Your children cannot possibly learn how to behave in church if they never go. How can they learn that God loves them, if they don’t know who God is? Some churches now have one service that is geared more towards children, with a youth choir, or a special children’s church with stories and activities based on the Scripture readings. Find out what is available in your neighborhood.
May God bless you and yours!

Related Reading:
Building Family Through Tradition
Easter Gifts
Egg-Laying Rabbits and Other Nonsense

Photo Credits:
Infant Baptism: by Rachyl McDowell
Infant Praying: by Igotphotos

Years ago, when my husband was still in college and I was a young mother of two running a licensed day care home, I was always tired. I think most young mothers are, so I was no different in that respect. But my husband went to school from eight until five, then he went to work until midnight. After midnight he’d come home to do his homework. If I didn’t wait up for him, I never got a chance to have a conversation with a grown-up, let alone the love of my life. My first day care child came at six a.m, and my last left at six p.m. Yet my own two were very early risers.

Tammy Sue was not yet three years old a the time of this story, and Danny was fifteen months younger. Too young to be up alone and unattended. What can I say? I was young, tired, and overwhelmed, doing the best I could at the time. So the night before I would fill sippy cups with juice and put them on the bottom shelf of the refrigerator. I’d fill Tupperware bowls with cheerios, and set them on the couch (no milk!) and turn the TV channel to cartoons. Then when my munchkins woke up in the morning a half hour before I had to, they could help themselves and I’d get a few more moments with my husband.

This worked out pretty well, until one morning when I rolled over and heard Tammy tell her little brother, “I need more paint.” I flew out of bed, not quite awake and definitely not thinking very clearly, to see that my children had gotten out everything they needed for an art project, except paper. They had the large paintbrushes, jars of tempra paint, they’d even filled their empty sippy cups with water to rinse their brushes. And every available surface was a bright, brilliant blue.

“What are you doing!” I yelled.

“Making pretty pictures,” they replied, which was quite obvious. They looked at me with big innocent blue eyes.

Then I did the stupidest thing I could have done, but remember, I wasn’t really at my best at five o’clock in the morning on maybe three hours of sleep. “Go into the bathroom and wash your hands!”

Blue paint-stained feet pattered down the hallway. Blue hands turned the doorknob. More blue was smooshed on the water faucets, the soap, and the towels.

I remained rooted to my spot, staring at the wet blue kitchen table and chairs, the blue linoleum, blue vinyl sleeper sofa and blue walls. All I could think about was the hours it was going to take to fix this mess, and my heart sank. The kids hadn’t really done anything I could discipline them for – it was my own fault. I blamed myself for wanting to stay in bed, for leaving them unattended, and I wanted to cry but I was too shocked yet for even tears to give me release. So I scolded the children again, “And go back to bed!”

More blue footprints in the hallway, blue now stained the doorknob of their bedroom, their carpet, and their sheets.

When the first children arrived, there was still blue paint everywhere. And six months later when we moved out of the apartment (my husband had graduated) we discovered more blue paint underneath that behemoth of a sofa.

Now when we recount this story, we laugh. It has become a part of our family heritage. There are many other incidents like this one, like the time Danny walked out of the hayloft twice in the same day. Or the time they flushed a box of Mr. Bubble down the toilet and broke it. Or the time Danny, at nine months of age, pulled all the nuts off the bolts to his crib and when I put him to bed that night the bottom fell out.

Parenting creative children is a challenge. They can think of more things to get in to, but they aren’t really being naughty. They’ll just think of the strangest things! There is no way to predict that kind of behavior, no way to really “baby proof” a home for them. All we can do is try to stay one step ahead of them, and keep our sense of humor.

My children grew up to be wonderful young people. They sing in church choirs. One is an Eagle Scout. One is an art major. One raises a flock of sheep and spins their wool. One is a young mother now, and struggling to hold down a job and manage to get some sleep. I help as much as I can, and worry about other young mothers who have no support system. So if this blog can help you at all, then my efforts have all been worth it.

Just the same, though, you might want to stress to your youngsters that “Paint goes on paper”!

Putting a child to bed shouldn’t be difficult. If the child has had an active, enriching day and has had all his needs met – food, water, shelter, and love – then he should be more than ready for sleep. Yet, I hear time and time again of just the opposite. Children who want only to sleep in their parent’s bed, or who cry endlessly all through the night, or who refuse to stay in their beds. These are bad habits, and habits can be broken. Here are the ten most common mistakes parents make in putting their child to bed.

• Do not allow your child to play video games. These games tend to get children wired, not relaxed! I don’t believe children should ever play video games, but that’s a subject for another post.
• Do not play a story tape or music. It is okay to read your child a story – it is wonderful, in fact! Go ahead and sing your child a lullaby. But do not make the CD or cassette tape part of the routine. If you do, how will your child get to sleep when that is not available? It is okay, especially if you live on a noisy street or have older children, to play some white music in the background. You are not teaching a child to fall asleep listening to something, but rather, to try to let your child stay asleep by not being disturbed by noise.
• Do not rock your child to sleep. Rock your child! Love him, cuddle him. But put him to bed before he’s actually asleep. He needs to learn how to let himself fall asleep. Otherwise, if you rock a child to sleep, and he wakes up in the middle of the night, you will have to rock him to sleep again. And again. Children need to learn how to comfort themselves back to sleep. Also, children who fall asleep in swings or car seats or other movement, usually do not fall into deep sleep.

A Naptime Routine Can Make Falling Asleep Easier
• Do not wait until your child is falling asleep before putting him to bed. Young children want to stay awake. They do not want to miss out on anything. They will spin around in circles, babble incoherently, wave their arms and jump – they will do anything to keep themselves awake. If you wait for a child to appear sleepy, then he is probably over-tired already.
• Do not put your child to bed with a cup or a bottle. This is hard on their teeth. They have the opportunity to eat at dinner, and if you chose to have an evening snack as part of your routine, then they can eat again. They can have a cup of water after brushing their teeth. They simply do not need more fluids at bedtime. Potty training may be more successful when the time comes if your child does not drink right before bedtime.
• Do not put a lot of toys, books, pillows, or blankies in your child’s bed. He may have one toy to cuddle, one book, and one special blankie. That is enough. More than that, and you encourage your child to stay awake.
• Do not move your young child out of the crib before you establish a solid bedtime routine. The cribs are called a six-year crib for a reason. Your child could stay in the crib until kindergarten. The toddler bed may not offer the same sense of security and comfort that the familiar crib does.
• Do not allow your child’s bedroom to become a war zone. Teach him or her to pick up toys daily. That should definitely be part of the bedtime routine! A messy room may be over stimulating, prolonging the time it takes your child to fall asleep. A clutter-free bedroom painted in muted tones can have a calming effect on even the most stubborn children.
• Do not allow your child to consume sugary foods in the evening. This should be obvious. Sugar gives us energy. You want your child to unwind, calm down, and sleep through the night. Giving him a cookie is like adding more logs to the fire. If you find it necessary to give your young child anything at all, it should be milk – warmed is even better. Milk contains tryptophan, an essential amino acid also found in meat and turkey, which is known to cause drowsiness. Some doctors are even prescribing tryptophan to treat insomnia.

All Tucked In
• Do not send your child to bed. Take him there. These are your child’s last moments before sleep. Make them pleasant. Help him into bed, and cover him up. Fold his hands in yours and teach him to say a simple prayer of gratitude. Have him recall special events from the day, or whisper loving words in his ear. It is only a few moments of your time, but it is forever in his memory.

Related Articles:
Hassle-Free Bedtime
Mastering The Nap

Photo Credits:
Top: photo by Tom Rafferty
Middle: photo by Dan Garner
Bottom: photo by Melissa Ross