Personal views aside, just what is Halloween, and what does it teach our children? Is it really a harmless custom, allowing the children to dress up and engage in make-believe? Or could it be more sinister? If I were to write a lesson plan for Halloween, what concepts would the children be learning? Perhaps, my list might include…

A Mom Consoles a Child Who Just Learned She's Going to be Burnt at the Stake

• People die and are buried in the ground.
• We put tombstones on the grave to mark the place.
• We write irreverent poems on the tombstones.
• Ghosts and goblins haunt cemeteries.
• Black cats are a sign something bad is going to happen.
• Some people turn into vampires when they die, and drink blood.
• Witches are ugly and cast spells on us.
• Some witches eat children. (Remember Hansel and Gretel?)
• It’s okay to knock on the doors of strangers and beg.
• It’s okay to take candy from a stranger.

Now, is there anything on that list that you actually want your child to learn?

Research Suggests Halloween is Scarier Than You Think

Dr. Cynthia Dell Clark, Associate and Fellow of the Center for Children and Childhood Studies, conducted a three-year study on the effects of Halloween on young children. She writes that parents underestimate the effect of Halloween horror on young children. While we realize that it is all just make-believe, young children have a harder time differentiating between imaginary and real.

And Halloween is definitely getting scarier! When we were children, costumes were usually home-made. We dressed up like characters in books or cartoons. You might have met Superman, Snow White, and Rin Tin Tin knocking on your door. These days, vampires and zombies far outnumber the more benign beings. That young children even know what vampires or zombies are, is something I find unbelievably tragic.

The CDC reports that children are four times more likely to be hit by a car on Halloween than any other time of the year. Children have also been known to suffer eye injuries from their costumes, or burns from flammable costumes. Some face paints have been found to be toxic, yet masks pose a greater threat by obstructing the child’s vision.

Even if Your Child's Costume is More Cute than Creepy, She May Still Be Frightened By the Experience

Then, right away in November, we began the cycle again with Thanksgiving songs and poems, Thanksgiving stories to read or write, and a Thanksgiving party to plan. When December arrived, no one had much enthusiasm or energy left to handle Christmas. Santa Claus got a little attention, Jesus got none, and we all looked forward to January when “life could return to normal”.

So before you do your share to contribute to the shaky economy by purchasing quantities of candy and costumes, just step back and reflect for a few moments. Is this something you really want your child to learn?

Relating Reading Material:

• Who Is Raising Your Child: Battling the Marketeers for Your Child’s Heart and Soul by Laura J. Buddenburg, Kathleen M. McGee
• “Mommy, I’m Scared”: How TV and Movies Frighten Children and What We Can Do to Protect Them by Joanne Cantor PH.D.
  
• Satan, You Can;t Have My Children: The spiritual warfare guide for every parent by Iris Delgado
  
• The Anxiety Cure for Kids: A Guide for Parents by Elizabeth DuPont Spencer, Robert L. Dupon, Caroline M. DuPont

Photo Credits:
Top: photo by Dkprincess6
Middle: photo by Paul Stumper
Bottom: photo by Andre Chinn

Five Steps until Bedtime

A good number of steps for any preschool activity is five, because the child has five fingers. You can teach your child the steps, and have him count down on his hand. When he gets to zero, it’s time to climb beneath the covers. This simple activity can help the child understand the one-to-one correspondence necessary before simple addition and subtraction can be learned. It also helps prepare him for the impending deadline.

Step One: Pick up Toys

Young Children Can Help Pick Up their Toys with Help and Guidance

If you scold your child repeatedly to hurry up and finish cleaning, what kind of dreams do you think he will have? Do you imagine that he will slip sweetly into sleep as soon as you kiss him good-night? This is not the time for impatience. The words you give your child now will stay with him all night long. You want the last thoughts on his conscious mind to be of love and acceptance. Take a deep breath and let it out slowly. Roll the tension from your shoulders. Just think – in thirty minutes, your child will be asleep, and you will be free to do the things you want to do. So, get down on the floor and help your child pick up his toys!

You can make it a game. “I’ll pick up the red toys and you can pick up the blue ones. Who will get done first?” If picking up takes too long, start earlier tomorrow night, or have several pick-up times throughout the day. Put some of your child’s toys away in a closet out of reach and rotate them. He doesn’t have to have every toy he owns at his disposal. Most children own too many toys anyway. Help him manage his mess by limiting the things he can get into.

Step Two: Bath Time

Many families like to have a bath before bedtime as part of their routine. This is especially important in the summer time when children play outside more, with more skin exposed. They just don’t get quite as dirty when they are bundled in snowsuits and the ground is frozen. But the bath is more than just an opportunity to get clean. Water play is educational, as well.

Filling containers with water helps the child develop eye-hand coordination. He learns basic mathematical concepts, like “empty, full, light, heavy,” and “how many”. How many cups will it take to fill the larger container? How many capsful will it take to fill the empty shampoo bottle?

Playing in water can also be very soothing. It’s a great way to begin unwinding after a busy day. Set a timer, though. Otherwise, your child will quickly learn that the longer he can draw out bathtime, the longer he can postpone the inevitable. Fifteen minutes is generally long enough to eliminate the dirt and a few extra wiggles. If possible, put Daddy in charge of bathtime, and it will be extra fun. Daddy and child can share this calm, bonding experience, while you have fifteen minutes to yourself.

Step Three: Pajamas

The water has drained out of the tub, and the tub toys have been stacked into a special bin or net where the water can drain (so they don’t grow moldy). Your child is wrapped in a big, fluffy bathsheet, and the last drops of water have been kissed away. Now it’s time to help him put on his pajamas. Even if he can dress himself, you can help him with this step. Supervise, at least, so he doesn’t create the exciting new game of streaking through the house stark naked. Then, it’s time to brush teeth. This activity should be supervised, as well. Preschoolers are too young to do a thorough job. You can set a timer yet again for three minutes, and encourage your child to brush until the timer dings.

Step Four: Story Time

Children are Never Too Old for Story Time

Step Five: Hugs and Kisses

The last thing you say to your child will stick with him all through the night. It is imperative that you make these moments count. Even if he’s been pushing your buttons all day long, make the effort to be patient and loving. He will fall asleep faster, and perhaps have happier dreams. Tuck him in bed. Give him butterfly kisses (batting your eyelashes against his face) or “Eskimo” kisses (rubbing noses together). Some families use the last moments before sleep to teach their child to pray. Even in non-religious families, you can develop a bedtime habit of recounting the day’s adventures and thinking about friends and loved ones.

Some children require more effort to unwind. If your’s is a highly active child, or has had an exceptionally busy day, you may want to rub his back for five minutes. This soothing touch has helped day care providers get thousands of wiggly little bodies to fall asleep swiftly at day care centers around the world. It takes only a few minutes, and is far more effective than scolding the child for an hour to settle down and go to sleep.

That’s it. At each step, have your child say the step, do the step, and count down on his fingers. After the fifth step is completed, leave the room. You might turn on a nightlight, or leave the door open an inch or two. Do not get in the habit of turning on a television. Studies have shown that people who sleep with a tv on do not get sound sleep, and take longer to fall asleep than those who sleep without it. The same can be said for music. You could put on a music CD of lullabies or classical music, but do not put it on replay. Just play it once through, then allow silence to fill the room. The exception could be if you live in an area with a lot of noise, like a big apartment complex with narrow walls, or next to a train station, then you might resort to a white noise machine that helps to block the noise.

Eliminate Interruptions

Make it a rule that there will be no more sips of water, no more stories, no more talking, no more anything after the five bedtime steps have been completed. His last chance for water was when he brushed his teeth. He has no more need for water. The body does not need water through the night. On the contrary, it needs to fast. The digestive system needs to finish working on digestion, and then it goes into repair mode. People who eat late night snacks prevent their own bodies from repairing damaged cells, and can create poor health.

Twenty-One Days to a New You

Studies have shown that it takes twenty-one days to make a new routine a habit. Try it yourself! You know you should floss every night, but few people do. Make it a requirement for twenty-one days. If you remember after you went to bed, get up and do it anyway. After three weeks, it will become habit, and you won’t even have to think about it. So, create your own five-step bedtime routine, or use the one mentioned here. Commit yourself to following it for twenty-one days, and you may be pleasantly surprised at how much easier bedtime becomes for you and your preschool child.

Related Articles:
What NOT to Do at Bedtime
Training Your Child to Sleep through the Night
Great Books for Toddlers and Preschoolers

Photo Credits:
Top: photo by Lexie49
Middle: photo by Sally McCabe
Bottom: photo by Sean Dreilinger

When do Children Start Thumb-Sucking?

Some babies begin sucking their thumb in the womb. Most infants will suck a thumb of finger between birth and about six months of age. Parents may prefer to encourage the child to suck on a pacifier instead, as they think that it is less likely to cause dental problems, and it will be easier to break the habit one day. After all, you can’t just throw the thumb out, like you can do with the collection of pacifiers.

Why Children Suck Their Thumbs

Babies have a natural urge to suck. It’s part of their survival instinct, along with their instinct to cry. No one has to teach them these behaviors, it just comes naturally. When they cry, a basic need is met. They are fed, or changed, or held, or made more comfortable by adding or removing clothing. When babies suck, they receive nourishment from either a breast or bottle, but they also receive comfort. A parent or caregiver holds the baby (propping the bottle is not a safe or recommended practice) while feeding them, often rocking the child, and maybe singing softly. As the child is fed, the child becomes calm, and may even fall asleep. So some children, when they are anxious, suck a thumb to self-calm themselves. Even though they do not receive nourishment, they still feel comforted.

Is Thumb-Sucking Wrong?

Could You Say "No" to This Precious Face?

Won’t Thumb-Sucking Damage My Child’s Teeth?

Maybe. Not necessarily. The child can generally suck his thumb for four or five years without causing permanent damage. Some children are very aggressive suckers, so much so that they rub blisters on their thumbs and the roof of their mouth. They are more at risk for creating dental problems. Even then, sometimes the dental problem fixes itself as soon as the sucking stops.

Thumb suckers may also develop a lisp when talking, having difficulty pronouncing certain letters, like “T” or “D”. However, lisping also occurs among children who do not suck their thumbs.

Won’t The Other Children Poke Fun of My Child?

Preschool children are still in the learning stage when it comes to behavior. They won’t poke fun of a child for sucking his thumb, unless someone has taught them to do so. It is up to the parent or caregiver to teach the young child to respect the feelings of others. You can talk with your child about his thumb-sucking habit. You can encourage him to suck his thumb only at home, but in the end, you may not always be around him to remind him of the rule. It is at the times when he is away from you – visiting a friend or going to a new Preschool – when he is more likely to need the comfort his thumb provides.

But Thumb-Sucking is Such a Dirty Habit!

If you’ve read my posts before, you know how I feel about dirt. Children need it. They should be allowed to dig in it, roll in it, play in it, maybe even eat a little of it. That is how they learn. I also believe that young children need to be taught how to wash their hands, and when to wash them. If your little thumb-sucker’s dirty thumb bothers you, keep a bottle of handi-wipes around and periodically swab the offending digit.

My Friends and Relatives Keep Telling Me My Child is Too Old to Suck His Thumb

This Child Still Needs the Comfort Her Thumb Provides

Photo Credits:
Top: photo by Angie M. Photography
Middle: photo by Dawnzy58
Bottom: photo by Spiritinme

There are studies that show new moms are able to get into their skinny jeans faster if they get plenty of sleep. There are studies that show a high correlation between infants who sleep only twelve hours a day as opposed to the required 14 or more, are twice as likely to be obese by age three. Not overweight – but obese! Obesity is a major health concern, as being obese increases your risk of heart attack, stroke, diabetes, gallstones, respiratory problems and certain cancers.

Lack of Sleep Linked to Depression

There is a strong correlation between lack of sleep and depression, although it is not known if insomnia causes depression or is a result of it. Normal sleep is restorative. Lack of sleep causes fatigue, leading to increased tension and irritability. When you are fatigued, you exercise less, which creates a vicious cycle of inactivity and sleep disturbance with resulting poor health.

Lack of Sleep Linked to Heart Disease

Children Don't Sleep When They are Tired; They Sleep When They are Exhausted

Lack of Sleep Causes ADHD

A recent study found that children who got less sleep than their peers were twice as likely to have behavior problems in school, including aggression, inability to concentrate or focus – all behaviors of Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD). The study also confirmed that while adults tend to act sluggish and groggy when they are overtired, children do the opposite. They speed up. The overactive youngster bouncing off the walls is not one that needs more physical exercise, but one that needs more sleep. This is a growing concern, as American children are getting on average one hour of sleep less per night than thirty years ago.

Lack of Sleep Causes Death

There, that’s pretty blunt! Lack of sleep causes so many health issues, that if you continue to deny yourself the restorative benefits of sleep, you shorten your life significantly. The study used 1.3 million people from all around the world, and found an unequivocal relationship between lack of sleep and premature death.

How Much Sleep We Need

A Daily Nap is Good for Mom's Health, Too

Infants need 14 or more hours of sleep per day. Toddlers and preschoolers need 12-14 hours of sleep. School age children need about 10-11 hours of sleep, with teens still needing at least nine hours of sleep per night. Count backwards from what time your child needs to get up in the morning, to find the right bedtime – but remember to add a half an hour for falling asleep. So, if your preschooler needs to be up by six, so you can get him dressed, fed, and ready to go wherever, and he gets 11 hours of sleep at night (and a two hour nap), count back eleven and a half hours, which makes six-thirty his bedtime. By going to bed at six-thirty, he should be able to be asleep by seven, giving him his necessary eleven hours.

Do the same for yourself. If you need to get up by five o’clock in order to get everyone up, dressed, fed, and off to wherever they have to be, and you need eight hours of sleep, count backwards eight and a half hours, giving you a bedtime of eight-thirty. Sound absurd? How many grown-ups do you know who go to bed before midnight? Maybe you’re already thinking, “How can I get all my work done, if I spend that much time asleep?”

But instead, maybe you should be thinking, “How much more productive will I be, if I am healthier? If I can concentrate better while I’m at work?” Imagine if you never had to take a sick-day off work because either you or your child was under the weather?

There are five basic steps for optimal health. Getting enough sleep is just the first step. I will cover each one individually over the next few days. This post is for your information. If you want to teach your child about health, check out the activities for Health Week.

Photo Credits:
Top: photo by Linda Aslund
Middle: photo by Brian Fitzgerald
Bottom: photo by Toshimasa Ishibashi

Sources:

• Neihmond, Patti. “Lack of Sleep Linked to Later Weight Gain in Babies”. Archives of Pediatric and Adolescent Medicine. April 11, 2008.
• Stein, Rob. “Scientists Finding Out What Lack of Sleep Does to a Body”. Washington Post. October 9, 2005.
• Park, Alice. “Lack of Sleep Linked to Heart Problems”. Time Magazine. December 23, 2008.

I always wonder at people who hate the winter but live where it snows. Seems to me they have two choices: Move someplace warmer, or learn to enjoy the snow. To continue to live where you are unhappy should not even be an option! For your own mental health, and that of your family, do something about this today. This article and the next will help you learn ways to break the chains that imprison you.

Get Outside and Enjoy the Weather

The first rule to enjoying winter is to dress warmly. You cannot enjoy yourself if you are shivering. I covered the importance of long underwear and layering in an earlier article, Getting Ready for Winter. Another tip is to try to stay dry. As soon as your clothing gets wet, you can get chilled. So don’t sit directly on the snow. Sit on a plastic sled or tarp, unless your stay outside will be brief.

The second rule is to get a minimum of 20 minutes of sunshine on as much skin as you can bare, daily, which seems to contrast with rule number 1. You do not want to get chilled, but if it’s not windy and you can take off your hat, scarf or mittens for a little bit, do so. Lift your face to the sun. Go outside at noon, when the sun is brightest – which is the opposite of summer warnings, when you need to avoid the sun’s more direct damaging rays. I was very fortunate in one home to have an inner atrium that was completely protected on four sides. It was a small space – about fourteen feet square – that was exposed to the sun but not the wind. I could sit out there in a swimming suit at noon in February! At least, some of the time. I don’t know why more homes aren’t built like that, other than the fact it was terribly inefficient to heat.

Take Your Child Sledding

Go Sledding With Your Children

Picnics are Fun Anytime of Year

Continue Your Summer Sports Training with a Club Membership

If you have a summer sport you really enjoy, such as cycling or swimming, you can keep that up, thanks to the spread of indoor gym facilities. We recently joined the YMCA in our city, which is very reasonably priced. They have swimming lessons all winter long, and plenty of open-swim times so we can practice between lessons. There are cycling classes, badminton classes, even family karate classes. The benefit to training all winter long, is that you’ll be in shape to enjoy your summer sport that much more once the snow melts.

Air Out Your Home Frequently

We make our homes air-tight to save on heating costs in the winter, but that can lead to poor indoor air quality. Periodically open a window for a bit to bring in fresh air. Vacuum often, replace furnace filters, wash sheets and bedding at least once a week and use dust mite covers, air out or clean mold-prone areas of the home, and keep plenty of houseplants. Not only will they freshen the air, but they might give you an emotional boost as well with their fresh, spring-like colors. Take a Vacation Someplace Warm If your blues get really bad, or happen every year about the same time, you might consider making a vacation to a sunny beach part of your family tradition. Whether you chose a condo in Miami, or a local motel with a heated swimming pool and water slides, do something warm, wet and wonderful together.

Houseplants Help Improve Indoor Air Quality

Fix Up the Cabin

Finally, if you just have to be stuck inside your “cabin” during the height of cabin fever, then fix it up. Make a change. Paint some walls or rearrange the furniture. Get rid of stuff to create more space. Sew some new curtains. Shampoo the carpets. Hang some new artwork. Anything you can do to spruce up your home will help you to enjoy the time you spend there. And if you’re happy, your entire family will be happier.

Related Reading
Getting Ready for Winter
Ten Snow Day Activities for Children
Ten Rainy Day Activities for Children

Credits:
Sad Boy: photo by Kevin Pack
Sledding: photo by Chris Sampson
Winter Picnic: photo by Timo Newton-Syms
Houseplants: photo by Jennifer Feuchter