Young children need between 13 and 14 hours of sleep daily. Generally, this works into about 11 hours at night and a 2 hour nap. I have heard many parents claim that if their child takes a nap, then he will not sleep at bedtime. Other parents say their child simply will not sleep at naptime, and they give up trying. Yet all you have to do is visit a day care center shortly after lunch and you will see that nearly every child is sound asleep. What is the difference?

The secret ingredient is… (drumroll, please) ROUTINE!

Day care teachers could never get all those children to sleep if it weren’t for routine. The better the day care, the more they stick to their routine. A daily routine helps a child to be hungry when it’s time to eat, and to be tired when it’s time to sleep. Sticking to a routine requires that a parent be disciplined. Disciplined parents have disciplined children, and the opposite is also true. Children will learn whatever behavior we model for them.

Your daily routine should begin at the same time every day. Whether you get up at 6:00 am or 9:00 am doesn’t matter as long as you do it every single day. You cannot change your schedule on the weekend. If you let your young child stay up late on Friday and Saturday night, you are guaranteeing that Monday morning is going to be horrendous. There is a lot of research that claims sleep in the earlier hours of the evening is more beneficial been sleeping late in the morning. The old adage, ” early to bed, early to rise, makes a man healthy, wealthy and wise” may yet prove true.

So get a pen and paper and start to work on your routine. What time would you like your child to be asleep by every night. 11 hours later will be your approximate time to begin your daily routine. If you would like your child to be asleep by 8:00 PM every night, then his daily wake up time is 7:00 AM. It might be even better to plan his go to sleep time at 7:00 PM, but that depends on a number of other factors, such as older children in the home. It is important to note that if you want your child to be asleep by 8:00 PM, then his bedtime is actually 7:30 PM.

If you haven’t already created a bedtime routine, do it now. This is a series of events (usually five) that always take place every single evening right before bedtime. It generally takes about a half hour, and may include: bathtime, pajama time, story time, prayer time, and cuddles. For more on establishing a bedtime routine, read: Hassle-Free Bedtime.

Why am I stressing bedtime in an article about naps? Because the two go hand-in-hand. A child who is over-tired, over-stimulated, and resisting naps, is a child who needs more sleep at bedtime. To establish a good nap, you must also establish a consistent bedtime.

Okay, you have your ideal schedule, your bedtime routine, and when you would like your child to take a nap. Your child is eating regular, nutritious meals at about the same time every day. Now, you need to see that his morning includes a variety of activities, including some large-muscle activities outside. This does not mean that you have to amuse him! The young child has a fantastic imagination and a wealth of creative potential. You simply have to provide the tools and the time, and a safe environment. To see what sort of activities I do in the mornings with my granddaughter, you can read: Working with the Lesson Plans: Schedules

Your child went to sleep last night around 8:00 pm, and awoke full of energy this morning just before 7:00 am. He did some puzzles, ate breakfast, colored a picture in his journal. He played with his toys for ninety minutes while you got some work done. Then you took him outside to ride his trike while you jogged along beside him. He came in, washed up, and ate a healthy lunch. It is time for the culmination of all your hard work- The Nap!

Again, this is easier with a routine. It doesn’t need to be as long as the bedtime routine. My granddaughter goes potty, washes hands, and brushes her teeth. Then she takes off her shoes (if they are still on!) and selects TWO books from the pile we previously checked out of the library. She grabs a toy and a blanket, usually her baby doll named Sarah, and a small, flannel baby receiving blanket. Then she scrambles up onto my bed. Sometimes I take her back to her house to sleep in her crib at naptime, but during the day I feel it is okay for her to sleep in a “big bed”. For one, I’m not sleeping. I am awake and alert, and she is not going to get up and get into trouble while my back is turned.

I crawl into bed beside her and read both books. One story isn’t long enough for her to unwind, and any more than two just takes too long. I read two picture books. Then I let her look at them on her own for ten minutes. I want her to love books! I want her to feel that books are like best friends. I lay down beside her and I read for ten minutes, too, modeling the behavior I want her to learn. Of course, I usually read a paperback romance, and I’d rather she read the encyclopedia when she’s older… but that’s another story!

I give her a few count-down warnings. “You may look at books for six more minutes…. You may look at your books for two more minutes…” etc. (See Eliminating Tantrums, the count-down method. )Then, I take away her books.

Sometimes she whimpers. More so if it’s Monday morning, and her schedule was hectic on the weekend with her mom. She is tired, relaxed, and fed. She’s had plenty of exercise both physically and mentally. She will fall asleep.

At first, while you are teaching your child to sleep at nap time, you may need to rub his back or gently stroke his forehead with a loving, gentle touch. Maybe the first day you have to rub his back for thirty minutes. The second day maybe only twenty-nine minutes. Within a few weeks, his body will have adjusted. Research claims that it takes 21 days to create a new habit.

Love nap time! Your child can be most precious at this time of day. As you cuddle with him or her in those last moments before they drift off to sleep, you may hear the most amazing things come from their lips! One afternoon, my granddaughter patted my cheek with her plump little baby-girl fingers, and whispered, “You’re my best friend, gramma!”

Finally – don’t let nap time go on too long. There needs to be a time to get up! If you let your child sleep beyond the time you established in your schedule, you will make it harder for him to get to sleep at bedtime. Keep track of how much he sleeps. If he slept eleven hours last night, then he only needs between an hour and a half to two hours for nap. He may wake up sweetly with hugs and sunshine, or he may wake up crabby for a while. You need to let him establish this new routine, and then you can teach him “how to wake up.”

So what will you do with your nap time? Whatever you want! Plan for it, treasure it. Use this time as “you” time. Taking care of young children can be exhausting. Find what you need to do to “recharge” your batteries. If you have several children under the age of five, you may need to take a nap yourself. Maybe you’d really love to have a long, luxurious bubble bath and read a novel-without being interrupted by your young child! Just don’t fall into the routine of doing housework at this time. For one, your little one isn’t going to sleep through the sound of the refrigerator opening or the vacuum cleaner gobbling up legos. For another, housework really isn’t going to rejuvenate you and refresh you, so that you will be at your best when your little one wakes up.

There are a few other tricks you can use to make nap time run more smoothly – these, I feel are “extras” and not part of the basic package. Some parents like to get a special “nap time” blanket or bedroll or cot. Some parents dim the lights, play soft music, and rock their child. Some like to use a large timer, and set it where the child can see it, but not touch it – when the timer goes off, then the child may get up. I would urge you NOT to put your child down watching the television. That will keep your child awake. Maybe he will eventually fall asleep, but it will take much longer than necessary, and turn his mind to mush in the process .

For further reading:
The No-cry Nap Solution by Elizabeth Pantley
The Sleepeasy Solution: The Exhausted Parents Guide to Getting Your Child To Sleep by Jennifer Waldburger and Jill Spivak
Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child by Marc Weissbluth

Related Articles:
Common Bedtime Mistakes Parents Make
Play Areas for Encourage Creativity

Photo Credits:
Top:sdminor01
Middle: Courage Knight
Bottom: Courage Knight

Some parents are able to dispense with the pacifier when their baby is about six months old, but others find that their child really needs it to calm themselves, to be able to sleep, or get back to sleep after waking in the night. Some time between the ages of two and four, most children will give it up. The question,then, is how to help them through this painful process?

Here is one method that has worked for many families:

1. First, gather all the pacifiers you can find into one location. If your child is very dependent on them, you may find over a dozen in the car, your purse, the diaper bag, the crib, the toy box, and the silverware drawer. Make sure they are all clean. Because they are often wet and stored in dark places, they can be breeding grounds for bacteria. Now place the pile of pacifiers in a clear container in a prominent location. Perhaps a big, clear plastic jar on the kitchen counter.
2. Next, talk to your child about this. Tell him that he is growing, and soon he will not need a pacifier any more. Maybe you only spend a day on this step, or you might need to spend a week on it. Get some library books out on the topic of “growing up”. Help your child see that this is normal, that every body grows up. That it is okay to feel like a big boy sometimes, and still want to be held and rocked and kissed. Growing up does not have to be like going up a crowded escalator. Your child can take the stairs all by himself. Sometimes he’ll go up two steps, but then come back down one. Maybe he’ll run up three steps, but trip on the third one and want to sit there for a spell.
3. When your child is okay with the concept of “growing”, then you explain that every day he may have one pacifier, but it must stay in his crib. He can climb in his crib if he feels he really needs it. He may use it at nap time, and at bed time. But he may not take it out of his crib. And in the morning when he wakes up, HE will throw it in the trash. You will watch him do this, and make sure he doesn’t dig it back out! (Yuck!).
4. Gradually, the pile of pacifiers will diminish. As it gets smaller, praise your child often. Hold him a lot. Rock him. Comfort him. Sing to him. Don’t make him feel that he is losing your love and affection. All he is losing is something to suck. It may help, subconsciously at least, if you serve foods that require sucking. Don’t get him addicted to lolly pops! The pacifier is undoubtedly the lesser of those two evils! But you could make some frozen fruit-juice popsicles or put a straw in his glass of milk or juice.
5. Finally, the last day will come. He will throw away the last pacifier. Make it a party. Serve cake and ice cream and his favorite food for supper (assuming he has one). Take lots of pictures. Play a special game, and let him stay up just a little bit later than normal. Keep him busy all day. This would be a great day to spend at the park! You want to make sure that he is very tired at bed time, not over-tired and cranky.

Go through your regular bedtime routine, whatever that is. Often that means taking a bath, putting on clean pajamas and cuddling in the rocking chair to hear a story or two. Then put him to bed.

He might fuss a little. He might fuss a lot. Do not pick him back up. Do not bring him into your bed. You may go in his room, lay him down again if he is standing. Cover him and rub or pat his back. You may put on some soothing music. Reassure him that you love him.

Some children will cry for a day or two, but rarely longer. Then get the pacifier-be-gone photos developed and add them to your child’s scrapbook or album. You’ve done it!

If your child continues to have problems sleeping, you may want to get additional information. Here are two books on getting children to sleep. I haven’t yet read either of them, but I read all of the parent reviews posted, and they gave the books a five-star rating. Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child and The No-Cry Sleep Solution

Related Articles:
In Praise of Pacifiers
Why Two-Year-Olds Have Tantrums
Hassle-Free Bedtime

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Upper:http://www.flickr.com/photos/chimothy27/ / CC BY 2.0
Lower:http://www.flickr.com/photos/aidanmorgan/ / CC BY 2.0

1. Get plenty of sleep
2. Eat right
3. Exercise every day
4. drink 6 – 8 glasses of water daily
5. Wash hands often, and use soap.

If your child has problems sleeping, staying asleep, or sleeping in his own bed, then you may wish to read Health Sleep Habits, Happy Child, or The No-Cry Sleep Solution. Preschool age children need 12- 14 hours of sleep daily. Lack of sleep can cause many problems besides drowsiness. It can cause depression, clumsiness, anxiety, irritability, ADHD, memory loss, tantrums, and problems getting along with others. Also, if your child isn’t getting enough sleep, there’s a good chance you aren’t, either.

The rules for eating right haven’t changed much in years. We now have a “food pyramid” instead of the “Square Meal” that I learned in school, to show that we should eat less meats and dairy products, and more fresh fruits, vegetables, and wholesome grains. When you shop, it’s best to shop the periphery of the store, and skip the middle aisles as much as possible. Buy raw fruits and vegetables, meats, seeds, nuts, whole grain bread, and milk. Avoid pre-packaged foods, sugary foods, processed foods, artificial flavors and artificial colorings. Sugar can contribute to sleep disorders, hyperactivity, and there is almost an epidemic of juvenile diabetes today.

Exercise is very important, but most little children don’t have a problem getting enough activity in their day. They are naturally busy. If your child seems too active inside, then make sure he or she gets plenty of time outside to run, jump, hop, climb, crawl, swing, slide, dig, scream, and wiggle. You can teach him the difference between “inside voice” and “outside voice”. Outside it is okay to be loud. Inside, we need to be quieter. If you are looking for something new for your child’s outdoor play, think “bounce”. You can get either a small trampoline for under $150, or a hopper ball for under $20.

Doctors always tell us to get enough sleep, eat right, and drink plenty of water, but few of us do. Did you know that healthy urine isn’t supposed to be yellow? It should be very pale yellow, almost clear. That’s when you are consuming enough water. The darker it is in color, the more dehydrated you are. Get yourself and your child a water bottle, and fill it often. Start a chart for how much each of you are drinking. You can make a simple graph with your child, introducing him to this math concept.

Have you ever heard the expression “Cleanliness is next to Godliness”? A recent study has concluded that clean smells actually promote moral behavior! On a smaller scale, if your child bathes regularly, washes his hair, brushes teeth, washes hands, and wears clean clothes, he will be healthier than if he were allowed to live in filth. Most little children love bathtime. If your preschooler has entered a stage where he hates his bath, or fears it, you may want to read Bath Time Blues.

Finally, I have included a new section in the lesson plans for pencil and paper type preschool activities. If your child is not yet ready for this, then just ignore it. Otherwise, I will include links to specific worksheets you can print off, or else most grocery stores sell preschool workbooks near the checkout. These worksheets were taken from www.sproutonline.com, www.first-school.ws, and www.kidzone.ws .

All of the recommended books can be found here, if you do not find them, or a suitable substitute, at your public library.

Enjoy this week! And take pictures. I’d love to post some of them here.

Worksheet 1, worksheet 2, worksheet 3, worksheet 4, worksheet 5.

Health Week Lesson Plans

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Sleep:http://www.flickr.com/photos/iandeth/ / CC BY 2.0
Exercise:http://www.flickr.com/photos/mobikefed/ / CC BY 2.0

First off, don’t use shampoo when you wash your child’s hair. Shampoos may contain harsh chemicals. They may sting the eyes, or make baby-fine hair more unmanageable than ever. I never use shampoo. I haven’t for over a year, and I wash my granddaughter’s hair the same way. I wash my hair with baking soda, and about every third or fourth wash, I rinse with an apple-cider-and-water rinse, which restores the natural pH balance of the hair. (Lemon juice will do, too) My hair is cleaner, healthier, longer, shinier than ever, and baking soda costs pennies to the dollars of fancy shampoo. It doesn’t sting the eyes, or contain harmful chemicals. If you want more info on baking soda shampoo, it’s all over the web. It’s often referred to as “no poo” or “no shampoo”. I have a previous post here, Never Shampoo Again.

I make my own “conditioner” too. I float a tablespoon of light olive oil in a small amount of water in a spray bottle. I shake well, and spritz this on my granddaughter’s hair in the morning before brushing. It helps make the hair shiny and tames down the frizzies. It even helps with detangling.

I bought a super-soft hair brush. Don’t get something stiff and scratchy and made of plastic. For your preschooler’s hair, you can get a natural boar’s bristle brush, which is often very soft. It may seem like it doesn’t do the job, but it will, and it won’t pull. Your child may enjoy having her hair brushed again when she learns it doesn’t hurt.

I bought a bunch of pretty hair things. I let my granddaughter pick out a couple in the morning that she wants in her hair. She holds the hair things, and she holds a small hand-held mirror while I brush. This keeps her interested, as she can’t see herself in the big bathroom mirror. Some mornings, if she’s very wiggly, I let her watch a cartoon while I fix her hair in the living room.

Finally, I let her brush my hair. I let her see how much I LOVE to have my hair brushed. I let her put funny hair things in my hair. I’m modeling preferred behavior for her, the way I want her to act.

This is a “killer combination”. You use modeling, positive reinforcement, and make it a really enjoyable experience, and the hair battles should end. If after you’ve tried everything else, and it’s still a problem, then you may want to discuss a very short hair cut with your child. Don’t cut her hair without her permission- she may never forgive you! But she can help to be part of the decision making process. Either she lets you brush her hair, or she needs to have it cut short.

Good luck!

For Further Reading:
Meal-Time Battles
Traveling with Tots
Nail Biting

Photo Credits:
Top: http://www.flickr.com/photos/londonlooks/ / CC BY 2.0
Bottom: http://www.flickr.com/photos/table4five/ / CC BY 2.0

Some children develop the habit of chewing on their fingernails. Maybe they do it because they have frequent hangnails or split nails that are annoying them. Maybe they observe a parent or caregiver do it, and they are simply imitating a learned behavior. But for many children, it is believed that biting nails is a form of stress relief.

Why should we care? Is it really something we should concern ourselves over? That is a question only you can answer. If it doesn’t bug you, then go ahead and ignore it. Generally, most kids outgrow this habit about the time that it starts to bother them.

However, there are a number of reasons why you should care, why it should bother you, why you should try to help your child break himself from his chewing habit.

1. children’s hands touch a lot of things! They are dirty! Think of all the bacteria they are ingesting every time they bite their nails!
2. Chewed fingernails can become stuck between teeth or under the gums, spreading bacteria and leading to cavities and gum disease.
3. torn nails and damaged skin are breeding grounds for bacteria. The nail bed can become infected. The the whole finger can become inflamed.
4. compulsive nail biting in young children can lead to deformed teeth
5. Lead is found in higher concentrations among nailbiters than the general public. Lead poisoning can significantly lower I.Q. levels.
6. Adults who continue to chew their nails are less productive than their non-gnawing counterparts.

So, if you have a chewer in the family, there are several things you can try to help them stop.

First, keep a record of every time you see your child bite his nails. What is he doing? Does he bite his nails every time he watches TV? Or only when Aunt Lulu comes to visit? Does he chew when he’s in church, or trying to fall asleep? Knowing when he bites may help you understand WHY he bites.

If he’s chewing away while watching T.V., then it’s just a mindless habit. Getting him to stop may be no harder than helping him find something else to occupy his hands. You can keep drawing paper, pencils and crayons near the T.V. and encourage him to draw instead. With an older child, you could try teaching them to knit or crochet. A child who mindlessly chews his nails is also a child who may start to mindlessly eat – so finding a better thing to do with his hands could save him from a weight problem in the future.

Does your child bite when when she is scared, worried, frightened, intimidated, or otherwise experiencing stress? This is believed to be the main reason why people – child and adult alike – chew their nails. Help your child understand why she’s biting her nails. Help her verbalize what’s upsetting her. Help her discuss it. Sometimes just acknowledging that a child is under stress is enough to help them overcome it. Children experience a lot of emotions, but they lack any understanding of those emotions. They may not know that it is actually okay to be mad!

Teach your child what emotions are. Help him verbalize them all. If you see him throwing toys and screaming, tell him, “I see that you are angry. It is okay to be angry. It is not okay to throw toys and scream in the house, but it is okay to be angry. Can you think of something better to do when you get like this? What if you went outside and pounded nails into a log?” (Or whatever activity you feel would be a good way to release stress).

If your child only seems to gnaw away when his nails are rough and annoying him, then make a manicure part of the nightly bath routine. Trim his nails, file them smooth. Teach him how to wash beneath the nails with a nail brush. Help him learn to use an emory board to sooth away ragged edges. Rub a bit of moisturizer into the nail and cuticle every night. If your yougster would like it, try painting on some nail polish. Help her to see her nails as something pretty, rather than something delicious.

Many people have found a cure in a bottle. They buy products that make the nail taste bad to discourage biting. Now there are natural products that you can use, that won’t poison your little one. One product uses pepper and citric acid. Another uses a blend of bitter-tasting vitamins and minerals. Some websites say NOT to use these products unless your child is eager and willing to stop this habit. I wonder why? Is it not “good parenting” to teach our children? We teach our children to brush their teeth and to hold our hand before crossing the street. We don’t ask them if they mind having their teeth clean or if they object to surviving to walk across the street another day! I say “hog wash”. If your child is a biter, and you want to stop this habit, then try every product on the market until something works!

If you found a way to break your child of this habit that is not mentioned here, please share it! We look forward to hearing from you.

If you are new here, you may want to read:
Ten steps to boost your child’s creativity
Vitamin Deficiencies in Children
Play areas for encouraging creativity in Children

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The worst meal of the day for families with young children is definitely dinner time. Moms and dads are tired. One or both of them just got home from work. They’re eager to get dinner over with, so they can get their screaming tots into the bath, then into bed, before they can finally take a break. And the worst, absolutely the worst thing either of them can do is engage in a power struggle with that child over what food passes between his lips. Once a parent demands that they clean up their plate, it is no longer an issue of health and nutrition. This is a battle of wills, and one the parent cannot win. If the child does eat, he’s not forming healthy, happy eating habits. If he doesn’t eat, the parent will either cave in, or be forced to discipline the child, which can lead to life-long eating disorders.

So end the meal time battle right now, and try a few of the following alternatives.

• Eliminate all refined sugar from your child’s diet. Sugar is not nutritious, but when your child eats even just a little sugar, it changes his palate, and he’ll crave sugary foods even more. He won’t want to eat anything that isn’t sweet. It takes a few weeks to break the sugar addiction, but once you do, you’ll really appreciate how much better all your other food tastes. Natural sugar found in fruit is fine – in moderation, of course.
• Establish specific meal times, and stick to the plan. Write down what time you eat breakfast, lunch, afternoon snack, and dinner. Serve them at the same time every day. Keep them about three hours apart, with NO SNACKING in between. Your child is more likely to eat if he comes to the dinner table hungry.
• Provide plenty of activity during your child’s day. See that he has time to run and play outside, dance, jump, ride a tricycle, throw a ball, climb, hop, crawl, and turn somersaults. Don’t raise a couch potato. If your child is burning calories, he’ll need to refuel at the dinner table.
• Serve more raw foods, more individual foods, and fewer casseroles. It is not uncommon for a little child to like to eat carrots, corn, green beans, and peas, but refuse to eat “veg-all” with all of those vegetables mixed in together. Remember when your young child was still an infant, you might have fed him a jar of peas and a jar of apricots for a meal, but you probably didn’t feed him a jar of lasagna.



• Set the table. Eat at the table. Don’t serve dinner in the car – ever – if possible! Use a tablecloth sometimes. Set out special plates. Use cloth napkins. Light the candles. Make dinner fun! Play Italian music when you serve pizza, or Mexican music when you have tacos.
• Go on a picnic. No matter what the season, you can take a picnic outdoors. My dad used to love winter picnics. I can remember him bringing a broom to wipe the snow off the picnic tables in the park. We’d have thermoses of hot soup and cocoa. You could build a fire in the fire pit or charcoal grill and toast marshmallows.
• Who said picnics have to be outside? Once in a while, take a picnic to the living room. Spread a vinyl tablecloth over the carpet, and serve your favorite picnic fare on the floor. Maybe the teddy bears could join you for this picnic?
• be realistic about what you expect your young child to eat. His stomach is only about the size of his fist. Make his servings MUCH smaller! Half of one slice of bread is a serving for the 2 – 5 year old child, yet if you make him a sandwich, he’s getting four times that amount! For many fruits, a serving size is only 2 Tablespoons – not the whole banana. It’s better to get him to eat two grapes, then ask for more,than to overwhelm him with a whole bunch.
• Plan mealtime conversations. Instead of talking about what he is or isn’t eating, or yelling at him to clean up his plate, engage him in conversation about his day. Ask what he did, what he enjoyed, what he learned. There are whole websites devoted to encouraging pleasant mealtime conversations for the family. (See a few listed at the end of this article).
• If your child still does not eat his supper, he can still sit at the table with the family until they are all finished. He is part of the family, and mealtimes is an important time to build relationships. After dinner, he will NOT be allowed any snacks. It won’t hurt him to go to bed hungry once in a while. In fact, no one should be eating after dinner. The after-dinner snack is a terrible habit to get in to, and if you or your child are not waking up hungry for breakfast it could be because too much food was consumed too close to bedtime the night before. Breakfast is supposed to be ‘breaking the fast” – not just throwing another log on the hot coals of a slow-burning metabolism.



What a big, beautiful smile! Wouldn’t you love to see this at your dinner table every night? Why can’t mealtimes be the highlight of the day? With a little planning, patience, and ingenuity, it can be!

Check out the book, Table Talk, Creating Meaningful Conversation with Family and Friends, now available in my store.

Table Talk websites:
Table Topics for Kids
Table Talk, How Mealtime Chatter Strengthens the Family
Family Table Talk Information

Related Reading:
Feeding the Finicky Eater

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